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I’m with you. X #grief #loss #bereavement #empathy & the power of #friendship

Dear You (You know who you are),

Whether you get a moment to read this or whether I bring it to your attention with everything that’s going on, I hope you seek some comfort from it when you’re ready.

We didn’t need a tragedy to bring us closer together just 2 years ago and you most certainly didn’t need another tornado to whisk you even closer, with it’s heart-wrenching thing in common we now also share. We were already as close as could be despite the physical distance. So thanks a bunch universe.

You’d probably have heard the “I’m so sorrys” by now in written or verbal form because it’s natural to say and genuine. I most likely said it to you earlier today! And It’s way too early for grief, so I’m not going to jump on that bandwagon and tell you what you may hear and have heard in the past, that ‘it gets easier’ when it’s so raw right now that it would only give you salmonella! Not very helpful. (We wouldn’t be us if we didn’t add humour at inappropriate times.) And also, you already know grief. You’ve met him before.

So what I will write to tell you actually is another thing that you already know. But I don’t care. Because I can’t express it enough. Because I know. Despite what everyone says in the beginning from the “If there is anything I can do…” you need to know it until it’s tattooed to you from the people who actually mean it because quite frankly, as other people’s lives move on, that’s when it will hit. Again.

Also. You don’t want this in a tokenistic form. You need it real. People who are not just there out of sympathy at the beginning. But will give you empathy the whole way through. And that’s what lifelong friendships are. They’re made of stern stuff.

Soppy as I am and you know it, I don’t think I could love you much more than I do (cue cringe) but I have the need to say it more than ever right now.

Even if it’s too numb. Too early. Too whatever. I’m here whenever you’re ready, however I can be.

Sunflower to sunflower (another, yet this time beautiful thing we have in common!), their girls are going to be alright, because they have each other.

I’m with you.

Abs X

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