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Demotivation. How can you help?

Hi all,

The first word? Not exactly a title that invites you to read on if you’ve already hit that mid week slump is it? Hopefully the latter picks up for both me the writer and you the reader! Let’s see how this goes…

Unfortunatley for me, it goes hand in hand with depression – so I’m afraid it’s a bit like superglue today and won’t be washed or shaken off easily! It leaves bits on you and rips and tares little pieces by little…

Having done a lot of Q&A ancedoitally about my D&A lately, I must say that one of the most excrutiatingly frustrating things for me (forgive me if I’ve mentioned it before, no doubt it will come up again, as it just hits me just as hard and somehow shockingly every blooming time) is how up and down zigzaggy my mental health is. If I’m experiencing an episode or bout of depression/anxiety (not that you ever really know whether it will develop into a bout or stay short) I’ll kind of be able to prepare a little self care…or not quite beat myself up for the extra sleep I need etc etc. But when one day you are okay, functioning, on the ball even! And the next you come crashing down like a ton of bricks…it’s so aggravating. There’s no consistency, something I crave – mental balance – for more than just a week…please?

I’m currently in an up and down, in and out washing machine seemingly cycle of this and it’s a struggle. I’m so bored of even saying it. Then you worry others are bored of hearing it.

I wish I could shake it off. Even physically like dance it off – to be fair, I’ve been missing out on exercise because I’ve been giving too much priority to other things in fear I’ll get behind when really physical activity should be right up there as self-care. Instead, the binging has resurfaced and what a surprise, I’m left feeling like a glutton infused energy less used up Duracell battery fit for the dust bin…oh so pleasant. I didn’t however promise pleasantries in this blog, I vowed honesty instead. But I know it’s probably not that easy to read. Esepciially for loved ones who care about me.

Let’s try and make this blog a bit more helpful so it’s not just me sinking in this quick thick mud. (Might also help remind me what I can do!) So, how can anyone offer support? I guess it depends where you are physically. You’re not going to be able to make me a cup of tea from a few hours away are you? But I guess at work, something I always try to do if I see others are buzz buzz busy heads down stressed, is offer them a cuppa! Just the kindness brings them a smile. Someone lightening the load by their small offering. Maybe convinces them they could have a quick debrief take a break and chat.

Promote rest! The last thing people need to hear when their guilt tripping themselves for feeling like they can’t do anything and are pretty useless is that, ‘core blimey – all you do is sleep…’ Yeah cheers for that. I think I’ll recover from that comment from the comfort of my own bed where you can follow up with a tut and a sigh’. No, thanks. Lucky for me, most my family and friends tend to ‘get it’ and so they should by now. A young girl in their 20s doesn’t exactly want to spend their time under sheets wishing D&A away as much as older folk wouldn’t either.

This doesn’t mean that we can’t do physical activity though. My partner usually suggests a walk too unless I’m really bed ridden. Even then he’ll gently suggest we get some air if I feel even a little bit ready to. It’s all about the small steps. What you’ve read here isn’t anything new. But it’s a reminder.

A little compassion goes a long way. And if you’re feeling demotivated quite often you may be feeling undervalued. Perhaps trying to facilitate positive conversations on past or present achievements can really help.

Love and lusting for some energy,

Abs X 💙

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