Anxiety can win battles as long as I win the warsđȘđ»

Hello all,
I hope you had a lovely weekend!
Youâll see I added a pic, (well I hope it worked anyway) wahey. Not from the help of my âcourseâ though. All me, well done me. So this course I was supposed to go on, it all kinda went wrong you seeâŠ
I suppose after a week of battling Anxiety and Depression (Iâm going to refer to this as A&D sometimes) pretty head on, by Friday night I was out like a light! *Which I give thanks to, as sleep isnât always easy many may know with A&D in your life or just being a human anyway*. Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â I turned up motivated and raring to go. The Tutor was warm and friendly, lovely speaking voice and it looked like someone Iâd have been inspired by if Iâd stayed the whole duration, and a nice bunch of friendly girls as coursemates too. But I didnât stay the whole duration. By warm up exercise 3, I was already planning my escape route. đ
This is something I think a lot of people with Anxiety and especially Social Anxiety can really relate to. Firstly, if we ever are in this position â I think we deserve a mighty round of applause for trying! đđ»I mean it. I say this because if D got the better of us Iâm sure a lot of the time weâd stay under the safety blanket in our beds; our forts of protection. I say âourâ maybe othersâ arenât always a âbedâ as such, but itâs likely theyâll have a safety net or plan of some kind. Mine is bed. It swallows me up whole but in a way I feel safe. So the fact I actually TRIED to go on this course I knew was mighty great of me. (If youâve been reading this blog from the beginning you might be wandering hmmm is she being sarcastic but actually, Iâm not. Small victories all the way. Hurrah!) It really is about celebrating these little âwinsâ that show us we still have fight in us. đȘđ» (hence the title).
Even if I had stayed in bed, Iâd try and see the âwinâ in that too (maybe not when Iâm so low and depressed it drowns my own reflection) but when Iâm ready, Iâll appreciate that I took time for Self-Care.
I realise relaying events (and from feedback from the young audience in my Youth wellbeing project) some people reading might be curious what symptoms to look out for when spotting A&D for how to help a friend, or how do we know when itâs happening? (as a lot of the time it happens without us knowing it is..until in all its mighty it takes over, the cheek of it.) Well for me it can take place in many forms. I will dedicate Iâm sure some blog posts to highlight more depth to this and detail to enhance understanding but here are a few examples:
It can materialise slowlyâŠbut esculate quickly AND vice versa. (Clever fiend with many talents the nasty piece of âŠ.) Anyway! Yes, itâs not a âone size fits allâ type of thing, hence why itâs not always simple to diagnose. For me, it can creep up by a collection of words or nagative thoughts piling in my head making it too high to knock down with its solid ground roots. Or it can be physical, increased heart rate, particular discomfort and hurt in my chest. (This is the usual place I feel it, a lot of people feel it in their stomach/nausea).
The points about the physical symptoms of A&D are really important here. (Iâve only mentioned a fraction of them) this is because there isnât parity of mental and physical health. Theyâre NOT perceived as equal. So if you or anyone else you know think itâs all in our heads, itâs not, it can torment us physically too. Joy.
Key messages today: SELF CARE means weâll win the war either way. Although Anxiety won the battle and forced me to leave in my uncomfortable state, I won the war, I did what was right, and needed for me at that time. So although in my (hopefully) attached pic Anxiety can swallow it up, it really is a grotesque creature and often spits us right back out. Leaving us to wipe of the phlegm and however slowly, pick ourselves up again.
Peace, love and resilience to get you through a rainy Monday, Abz X đ